New Singles Group First Event: Speed Dating

When: Tuesday August 26, 2008, 6:30 to 8:30 pm

Where: Southside Community Center, 1300 6th Street South

Introducing La Crosse’s LGBT Singles Group, offering calendar events to keep you busy networking, and every activity alcohol and drug free. So, what’s it all mean? It means there will be regular events up and coming specifically for the LGBT Community singles that will not revolve around alcohol or other drugs. Participants will not be offered alcohol at any event, none will be available, and individuals will be expected to join activities sober. This is for those of us who are looking for something with a little more flavor than the ordinary, no disrespect for our friends of local establishments serving alcohol. The goal is to diversify the LGBT community and offer alternative entertainment and activities. Plus, the hope is to move La Crosse toward a more positive and tolerant view of the LGBT collective as a valuable resource to La Crosse economically, artistically and socially as part of the breath of the city. The development of the LGBT Singles Group maintains a prerequisite of eighteen years and is open to all LGBT singles meeting this age and above.

The first social event will be speed dating—scheduled for Tuesday August 26, 2008 from 6:30-8:30PM at the Southside Neighborhood Center, 1300 6th St. South, La Crosse, WI. Each participant will provide organizers with a profile, digital photograph (G-rated pics only, anything reasoned to be inappropriate will be eliminated and the entry will not be able to participate) and choose method of contact, e.g. telephone or email. If this event is successful, other events will follow as a group forms.

This event and all events to follow will maintain the alcohol/drug free policy. If anyone who is participating (or watching) is suspected of being under the influence of any mind- altering substances, they will kindly be asked to excuse themselves from the event and be disqualified.

Conversation Topics and Tips:

Try to keep it unique and interesting, this is the best method to getting someone’s attention. Also, don’t ramble on too much about yourself, show genuine interest in the other party and what he/she has to say. Body language tip: when they are speaking, lean in to signify interest. Avoid telling insensitive or trite jokes. Do not sell yourself short, you just keep believing and acknowledging that you are a great person. Make eye contact and keep smiling; although, make sure your smile is sincere and genuine in appearance (practice in the mirror). Remember to keep it simple, you will only be allotted a certain amount of time with each participant, work hard at keeping the other party’s attention. Compliment. Compliment. Compliment…and try again to use something out of the ordinary, mention an article of clothing that you think is particularly nice or attractive or an interesting piece of jewelry/accessory. Tell him or her they have a nice smile or laugh. Avoid the cliches of eyes or lips or other anatomy. Choose specific details, something that has the potential of leading to at least a brief conversation that is simple and interesting. Stay away from talk of weather, politics, religion, etc. Make your time count so that you will leave a good impression. Make eye contact. Work on expanding your vocabulary, flip through a dictionary and learn a couple of new words—again, not too complex, yet be sure to know the meaning of the word and how to use it in a sentence. A thesaurus is also helpful. Read some poetry, memorize a couple of lines that you can quote. Be sure it is a poem that you find interesting or powerful and choose a few lines that are easy to remember or that you can jot down on a note card—also, choose lines that are pretty easy to interpret, unless you feel like taking a chance stepping out on a limb with something slightly more complicated. Remember time constraint. Obviously you are going to have to do some talking because he/she is going to be asking questions and making conversation with you as well. However, don’t allow these suggestions/tips to make you nervous to the point of blanking out. Maintain that confidence. Try to stay away from questions about career/occupation at this initial event, it could potentially be a difficult topic for some individuals, mainly because you want to avoid “shop talk,” though maybe you want to talk about shopping. Try not to allow long moments of silence, this will be time consuming and very boring in addition to adding pressure. We want to keep this as light and as comfortable as possible.

Remember this is speed dating and a chance to familiarize yourselves with one another in a short amount of time. In other words, condense conversation and move on to other subject areas to get to know the most about each other in a matter of minutes. Just relax, breathe and work a little brain power, even if smoke starts coming out of your ears as your intellect heats up a little. Avoid sexual questions/perversions. Keep it tasteful. Whatever you and your matches, if any, decide to do afterwards is all up to you. (We will provide condoms, but are neither promoting nor encouraging sexual activity. We are being realistic and making certain that you have the necessary tools for safer sex. So, we are promoting safer sex practices, but are not moral judges.)

Sample Questions

  1. What is it that you are most passionate about?
  2. Have you lived in the area your whole life? If not, where have you lived and how did you like that compared to the Coulee Region?
  3. If there has been travel, ask where. And this could lead to “what languages can you speak?”—you get the idea…
  4. What do you enjoy doing on a rainy/sunny day?
  5. Tell me a quick and interesting or funny story about yourself or someone you know.
  6. What kind of movies/books/entertainment are you into?—Name some favorite writers/directors/actors/musicians/singers.
  7. Although this may seem trite, you will both want to know this to rate compatibility: What are your interests/hobbies? What do you do in your free time?
  8. What’s your favorite time of year? Time of day?
  9. Name something that you haven’t done yet, but would like to one day.

These are all possible questions and don’t feel you have to rehearse. There will be cards provided so that you may reference these as needed. Otherwise, be spontaneous, this is going to be the most fun and exciting. The evening will begin with a review of how speed dating works, so come even if you have not been to an event such as this in the past. Generally, the evening will look like this. The event will begin with introductions, some ice-breaker time and necessary thanks to all those involved with making this project happen. Through the Coulee Region LGBT Singles group, we want to make note of the need for alternative dating routines for the LGBT community in the La Crosse area. This being said, it is also our responsibility in recognition of the gay community, to promote safer sex practices to prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS. Also on this note it is equally our responsibility to educate and rally awareness of HIV/AIDS and tolerance to those affected or infected with the virus.

The time limit for each “date” will be set to about eight minutes depending upon the number of participants. This is speed dating and this leaves us time constraints. After the event, further refreshments will be served as they are available. This was a HUGE effort by those involved and we want to again, thank those who worked together providing food, materials, and funding.

What You Need to do to Participate:

  1. Provide your first name and last name initial (at a minimum)
  2. Provide your email address or phone number. This information is kept confidential by the organizers.
  3. Provide a photo of yourself. G-rated pics only, anything reasoned to be inappropriate will be eliminated and entry will not be able to participate. these photos will be confidential, but cannot be returned.
  4. Provide a short profile. Include some of the basics e.g. height, weight (optional), age, hair color, eye color, type of guy/gal who interests you, age minimum and maximum seeking to date, etc.

Contact Information

All of the above should be sent either by email or postal mail to Melisa Myers with a subject heading of: ATTN SINGLES. Email: Melisa.Myers@arcw.org Postal mail Melisa Myers: ATTN SINGLES c/o ARCW 2519 South Ave, La Crosse, WI 54601

There is limited space, so reserve your space by August 11, 2008. There are flyers describing the event available at the 7 Rivers LGBT Resource Center. For details, and/or to reserve your spot, call 800-947-3353 or email Melisa (Melisa.Myers@arcw.org) or Jared (Jared el_sonyador@yahoo.com).

Important: The facility at the Southside Community Center, located at 1300 6th St. South, has a max capacity of 75, so if we receive more than 75 entries, some will likely have to be reserved for the next event (provided all goes well). Those unable to join activities during this LGBT singles excitement will be reserved for the next event.

Thanks to the LGBT Resource Center of the Seven Rivers Region and all involved therein, ARCW, Melisa Myers, Mary O’Sullivan, UWL PRIDE, Viterbo University PRIDE, among many others. (And I imagine I could give myself a pat on the back for organizing the event!

Jared
Singles Group Organizer