It is Time to Look Forward by Chris Olson

This month I’m going to give you my view on how to deal with life as a citizen in a state that presumably sees lgbt folks and lgbt couples as undeserving of the same rights afforded every other citizen.

The election is over. The marriage amendment passed; lesbians and gays in Wisconsin cannot marry – by the authority of our state’s constitution. Neither can we mimic marriage in any legal way. What the heck does this mean? Will my power of attorney be honored? Will my partner be allowed to sit at my bedside in the hospital? Will I get paid time off from work when her father dies? What about leave under the family leave act if she gets sick? Should these things matter now? By all means they matter! We all need to keep expecting the same equal treatment as our heterosexual counterparts! The amendment does not prohibit us from expecting the same respect. We deserve this now more than ever. Don’t stop protecting yourselves – just like you did before the ban passed. If I’ve learned anything from these last two years of battling the amendment I’ve learned this: it’s very important to be out as lgbt people and also out as lesbians and gays in committed relationships. Others need to see us and look at us – study us – and come to realize that we are normal, regular and good people.

We have to be proactive – just like we were before any discussion of marriage ever entered into our thoughts. I lamented to a friend on Christmas Eve about how I never really wanted to get married. That is, until all this talk about forbidding me to marry came into play. I used to believe that my relationship with Michelle, my partner of nearly 25 years, was just fine as a “partnership.” I didn’t want the church/any church to bless our union. We get plenty of validation and support from friends and family. Our neighbors respect us as do most of the professionals with whom we do business. Before the talk of banning marriage – I was happy, even proud, to disassociate from this modern heterosexual institution that was more likely to fail than succeed.

Lesbian and gay couples still can take advantage of the legal system that is in place to protect us. Yes, it costs money – but it is money well spent. Hire a good lawyer and make sure they understand the law when it comes to protecting the rights in a domestic partner situation. Some of these legal tactics may be challenged in court – if someone invokes this marriage/civil union ban. Bring on the challenges! It will be sad and frustrating. It will be a horrible thing to go through – but if our legal protections stand up to these challenges – the ban will be more easily overturned in the future.

Below are the proactive steps that a couple must take to protect their partnership. There are others – but these are the essential steps to put in place now:

Name each other as beneficiaries to IRA’s and retirement plans.
Buy life insurance naming your partner as beneficiary.
Add the other as signatory to your bank accounts.
Title real estate and financial assets as Joint Tenants with Rights of Survivorship (JTWROS).
Title your automobiles jointly – using “or” not “and”. Use the same language with auto and mortgage loans.
Have valid wills prepared by an attorney.
Discuss an estate plan if you have assets subject to state or federal estate taxation.
If you have children – initiate a second parent adoption procedure (yes, you can!).
If you have children – name the other as legal guardian and custodian in your will.
Have a current durable power of attorney (prepared by an attorney).
Have a power of attorney for healthcare (prepared by an attorney).
Have a living will and advance directives prepared to detail your last wishes for heroic life support measures.
Consider setting up a trust to protect your joint assets from the claim of others.
Tell your family (verbally and in writing) frequently about your wishes concerning all of these issues.

Many of these steps are best executed with the help of an attorney licensed to practice in Wisconsin. Your expert attorney will defend her work for you if their documents are ever challenged. Please contact me if you want the rationale behind taking any of these steps. Even a simple mistake or omission can mean huge trouble for you if something happens to your partner. I am also happy to provide referrals to attorneys who know the law pertaining to domestic partnerships – attorneys for whom homophobia is not an issue.

Chris Olson is a licensed Certified Financial Planner™ Practitioner in private practice. You can contact her at CMOney@centurytel.net or 608-525-9818.